“I couldn’t see how to make it funny, so I went full-on heartwarming this time.” That’s how I explained the difference in tone from previous pieces I had asked my good friend and trusted critic, Stacey, to read. Before starting the piece, I had combed through stories from one edition of the popular anthology series where I planned to submit to be sure I wrote what the editors wanted to read. When she called to go over her recommendations, Stacey sounded reticent.
“Well, the first sentence doesn’t grab me. Maybe you could punch it up.” Line by painstaking line, she pointed out clichés, weak verbs, and “tells” where there should be “shows.”
A few paragraphs in, she sighed.
“I just don’t hear your voice. This piece is not holding my interest.”
I set down the red pen I’d been using to record her suggestions.
“OK, maybe I need to take another shot at it.”
I struggled to digest Stacey’s comments, feeling my head about to explode. The editing, I knew, would be exhausting. I jumped in my car and headed to the library. I checked out two more books in the anthology series. When I got home, I devoured the stories. Inspired by these pieces, I opened a blank Word doc and typed my new opening sentence, “The office was in turmoil.”
My voice restored, I wrote non-stop for three hours, then emailed the new version to my friend. The next morning, she called.
“Boy, you sure know how to do a rewrite! I love this one.”
I patched it off to our TVW Dream Team, Vi, Ed and Lani, tweaked it a bit more, then submitted it, fingers crossed the editors like it. But what’s most important is that I like it.